When you start discussing the prospect of New Year’s resolutions, you may find yourself taking one of two extreme stances. Many of us become incredibly excited about the opportunity that a new year presents. We think about the concept of approaching life with a clean slate and love the idea of making resolutions that are going to help us end the coming year in a better place than we ended the previous year.
Unfortunately, we may also find ourselves looking back on previous New Year’s holidays and thinking back to all the resolutions that we didn’t keep. Many of us are still trying to get rid of that extra 20 pounds that we resolved to drop last year on New Year’s Day. There are plenty of us who are still struggling to manage our money even though we said that 2022 was going to be the year that we tackled our debts and started living on a budget. There’s certainly no denying that there are plenty of resolutions that just don’t work out. In fact, some studies indicate that roughly 80% of New Year’s resolutions are forgotten about by May of each year. Even more surprisingly, many of those resolutions that don’t last are considered failures before the end of March.
If you’re still working on your New Year’s resolutions, you’re in good company. Many people don’t have their final list of resolutions completed until the middle of January. While it’s a good idea to make some personal goals for yourself, it’s also a good idea to take the opportunity to set some goals for your marriage.
As we slowly step into the new year that God has blessed us with, consider adding these # marriage-based resolutions to your list.
Be Your Spouse’s Biggest Cheerleader
Proverbs 16:23-24 (TPT)
Winsome words pour from a heart of wisdom adding value to all you teach. Nothing is more appealing than speaking beautiful, life-giving words. For they release sweetness to our souls and inner healing to our spirits.
The words that you use in your marriage will have a direct impact on the overall health and long-term viability of your relationship. If you use your words to build your spouse up, you will notice that your marriage becomes a much healthier, safer union. Conversely, if you look for opportunities to tear your spouse down, your marriage will become a battleground.
Marriage is difficult, even in the best of situations. However, when you commit your words to the building up of your partner, things to become easier. In another passage from Proverbs, Solomon wrote that the power of life and death is in the tongue. The words that you use to your spouse and about your spouse will either bring life into your marriage, or it will bring it to its knees.
Being your partner’s greatest cheerleader doesn’t mean that you blindly agree with everything that he or she does. It doesn’t mean that you cosign bad ideas in the name of being supportive. You can still disagree with your spouse while being his or her biggest cheerleader. That is done by choosing your words carefully when you have those moments of disagreement.
In the coming year, refuse to use negative, harsh words to your spouse. Additionally, commit yourself to not using those negative words when talking about your spouse to others. When you begin speaking life into your marriage, the benefits will be quickly noticeable.
Pray for Your Spouse Every Day
James 5:16 (TPT)
Confess and acknowledge how you offended one another and then pray for one another to be instantly healed, for tremendous power is released through the passionate, heartfelt prayer of a godly believer.
When we read this familiar passage from the Book of James, we often become so uneasy about the first part of the verse that we fail to embrace the power found in the second portion of the passage. Confessing our faults and how we have offended one another is a difficult concept. This is primarily because we don’t like to acknowledge when we have mishandled a situation, especially in our marriage. However, when you commit yourself to the second part of this passage, the first becomes much easier.
We will discuss the powerful freedom found in the first part of this passage in a moment. First, let’s take a look at the second part of the passage that speaks to the importance of prayer. Even though James didn’t discuss marriage specifically in his epistle, we can still apply the teachings of this passage to our marital relationships.
Your prayers have power. When you pray, God focuses keenly on what it is that you’re saying. Not only does He hear your words, but He also takes note of the sincerity of your heart when you’re praying. When you pray for your spouse with a pure heart that is pointed towards them and towards God, your Heavenly Father takes note.
Prayer should be a part of your daily routine. In fact, prayer is supposed to be a big part of your daily routine. While there is nothing wrong with praying before you go to bed each night, the Bible teaches us that we should constantly live our lives in a state of communication with God. Make sure that a portion of that time is spent praying for your spouse. Pray for his or her career, their mental and emotional health, their physical wellbeing, and everything else that you can think of. When you earnestly pray for your partner, God will bless him or her because of your prayers.
Acknowledge When You’re Wrong
Proverbs 28:13 (TPT)
If you cover up your sin you’ll never do well. But if you confess your sins and forsake them, you will be kissed by mercy.
Admitting that you’re wrong is hard. No one wants to look at a situation and say that they mishandled it, but each of us, no matter how hard we try, get it wrong from time to time. When you accept the fact that you’re not always right, it becomes much easier to apply this passage from Proverbs to your marriage.
Unfortunately, when we’re looking at changes that we want to see in our marriage, we often think about the things that we wish our spouses would do differently. Maybe you’ve been in this position before. If your husband was better at communication, your marriage would be healthier. If your wife didn’t complain about how you do things, you would be better at meeting her expectations. Instead of looking inward for the changes that need to be made, we typically look outward.
When you read this verse from Proverbs, don’t think of “covering up your sin” as some sort of means of hiding infidelity or another major issue. Instead, consider times where you’ve used hurtful words when dealing with your spouse and then refused to apologize. Hoping that things just “go away” isn’t a healthy way to deal with conflicts within your marriage. Instead, acknowledge when you have done wrong and talk through that with your spouse. Don’t approach the topic from a position of defense. Doing so will cause you to close yourself off to the areas in which you need to improve.
In the coming year, don’t focus on the changes that your spouse needs to make. Instead, recognize your own shortcomings and look for ways to be a better partner.
A Closing Prayer:
Heavenly Father, help me to be a better spouse. Help me to acknowledge when I’m wrong so I can take the steps to remedy those situations. Help me to be a source of encouragement for my spouse. Bless my spouse in everything that they do. In Christ’s name, Amen.