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Overcoming Cynicism: Seeing the Best When You Expect the Worst

5 Mins read

The society that we’re a part of teaches us that we should take a cynical approach to most people and most things. Statements such as, “You can’t believe everything you read,” and, “I’ll believe it when I see it,” flood our minds, teaching us that we should be skeptical in every situation. It’s easy to hide behind the practicality of cynicism and say that we’re just waiting for proof, but to do so contradicts our commitment to faith. Today, discover how to silence cynicism in your own life.

The world we live in teaches us to be cynical. In many cases, our cynicism, at least in our own eyes, is well earned. After all, each of us can point back to a time in our lives where we’ve been lied to. When we feel deceived, it’s natural for us to want to put up some walls to help protect ourselves from the pain of the deception. Unfortunately, those same walls of protection often lead to lives riddled with cynicism, which makes it difficult for us to put our trust into anyone or anything.

Today, as we continue to try to transition out of what will forever be known as the “pandemic era,” the world faces another epidemic. The epidemic of cynicism is destroying friendships, families, and even churches.

In most cases, we don’t consciously choose cynicism and skepticism. No one wakes up one morning and declares, “I’m going to stop believing in anyone and anything because I’ve been lied to in the past.” No, cynicism is something that festers and grows over time. If you believe yourself to be a cynic, take a moment and think back over the course of your life so you can attempt to pinpoint the time when your cynicism truly started to grow.

Were you lied to and mistreated by a parent? Perhaps your father or mother, who had vowed to care for you forever made the selfish decision to abandon you and the rest of your family when you were young. That can often lead to people taking a cynical approach to people who want to care for them later in life. Maybe you can look back over your life and recognize that your cynicism is the result of a failed marriage, one that you poured your heart and soul into, only for it to blow up in your face. Those experiences can cause you to take a skeptical, cynical approach to love going forward.

Employers who mistreat you can leave you leery of trusting a supervisor, and church leaders who violate God’s standards for pastoral care can leave you experiencing “church hurt,” and feeling skeptical about the family of God.

Whatever the catalyst is for your cynicism, today is the day that you can begin the healing process. God doesn’t want his people to be doubtful, cynical people. Instead, He wants us to look for the best, pray for the best, and believe in the best. Discover more about how to make that a reality in your own life today. Knowing why you’re a cynic is a large piece of the puzzle that you will need to put together to overcome it.

Do I Know Too Much?
Ecclesiastes 1:16-18 (NIV)
I said to myself, “Look; I have increased in wisdom more than anyone who has ruled over Jerusalem before me; I have experienced much of wisdom and knowledge.” Then I applied myself to the understanding of wisdom, and also of madness and folly, but I learned that this, too, is chasing after the wind. For with much wisdom comes much sorrow; the more knowledge, the more grief.”

It has been said that ignorance is bliss. Often, when we hear that statement, we recoil because of the word “ignorance” being used. None of us want to consider ourselves ignorant. However, to be ignorant of something simply means that you are not informed about it. For instance, unless you’re a doctor, you’re probably largely ignorant to the things that take place during brain surgery. That doesn’t mean that you’re stupid or worthless. It simply means that you don’t know about a particular field.

Solomon, the man who wrote Ecclesiastes, was the wisest man who ever lived. Unfortunately, his abundance of wisdom led to a lot of problems for him. When he knew everything about everything, it led to sorrow. He even acknowledged in this passage that the more knowledge he gained, the more grief he experienced.

As we grow and mature, we become more informed. One of the natural byproducts of this growth is cynicism. Think back to when you were a child. When Christmas was approaching, the adults in your life probably talked to you about how Santa Clause would come down the chimney on Christmas Eve, leave you some presents if you had been good, and would then magically fly his reindeer-piloted sleigh across the world to give toys to all the other children. You believed it. Why wouldn’t you?

When we get older, we quickly realize that there is no Santa Clause. When you have children of your own, you probably tell them the story of Santa, but you experience the stress associated with making Christmas memorable for your children.

We experience cynicism when we know more than we used to know. In that sense, it is inevitable. There is no way for you to spend your entire life in blissful, childlike ignorance to the reality of most situations. However, when you combine what you know with who you know, it becomes easier.

Where is Your Faith?
Psalm 118:7-8 (NIV)
The Lord is with me; he is my helper. I look in triumph over my enemies. It is better to take refuge in the Lord than to trust in humans.

There is an interesting fact about Psalm 118:8 that many people don’t know. It is the middle verse in the Bible. The Bible, as we have it today, contains 31,102 verses. Psalm 118:8 is verse number 15,551. It is better to take refuge in the Lord than to trust in humans.

Why do you think that this verse is found at the very center of the Bible? It’s because God knew that encouraging us to trust Him more than we trusted other people would prove to be the cornerstone of the Christian life.

God has never made anyone cynical. While we don’t always understand His ways, we know in our hearts that He is trustworthy above all else. When God makes a promise, He keeps it. When God’s Word teaches us something about Him, we know it to be absolutely true.

Our cynicism is the result of putting confidence in other people who proceed to let us down. Why would David say that it was better to put trust in the Lord than to trust in humans? Because David knew that humans were fallible, fallen, and prone to disappoint one another. Today, the human nature hasn’t changed all that much.

This doesn’t mean that we should never trust another person. Trust is at the backbone of any healthy relationship, whether it is a professional relationship, friendship, or a romantic relationship. However, it is important to understand that the person you’re trusting is not perfect. In the same vein, you aren’t either.

When our trust is rooted in God, His Word, and His ways, it is much easier for us to avoid becoming cynical. Even though you have to open yourself up to the idea of trusting other people, when the majority of your faith and trust is rooted in God, you know that you have a sure foundation on which to rest.

A Closing Prayer:
Heavenly Father, I know that my cynical, skeptical nature is not what You planned for me. I know that my tendency to see the worst in people and in situations is not faith-filled, and therefore, it is not from You. Help me to overcome it. Yes, I have been hurt in the past, but that does not mean that my future is doomed to be filled with hurt and pain. Help me to trust You fully. When I trust You more, I will be able to trust others better. In Christ’s name, Amen.

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