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Should the Christian Pursue Self-Esteem, or Should He Seek to Rid Himself of Self?

5 Mins read

In this modern era, there is a trend that seems to be on the rise. The blending of secular psychology and humanistic approaches to life is gaining ground within the church. Many are jumping on board with little thought to the fact that much of what is being purported does not and cannot line up with Scripture. The underlying premise of both fields will not allow such a thing.

The humanistic and psychological approaches to life start from a different foundation than Christianity has. If one were to look at the originators of the various psychologies and humanistic theories, he would find God-haters rather than God-lovers as the founding fathers. In actuality, many of them were atheists and did not believe in the existence of God.

One of the main issues surrounding the rise of the psychologies within the church is that they are often labeled as sciences. But in actuality, the psychologies are a pseudo-science and are changing as quickly as the hands on a clock. One of the main culprits that is often taught and believed by many is the idea of the need for people to have “self-esteem.” This is such a widely held belief that, depending on the audience who receives this article, the material found within it may abruptly be discarded as an untruth.

But what is “self-esteem,” and can it be found in the Scriptures? Any honest, inquiring Christian mind must ask himself this question. The word “esteem” means to have a high regard for someone or something. Some of its synonyms are approval, reverence, and admiration. When the word “self” is tacked on to the front of the word “esteem,” the word consists of having confidence in the merits of self. It also means to have a high regard for self, to approve of self, and to admire self.

This is a highly controversial subject. But it must be addressed. The reason for this is that this approach to viewing self is not found in the Scriptures. It is actually a view of self that wages war against the Scriptures, and specifically against the grace of God and humility. Self-esteem reinforces pride. If a Christian were to say that someone should be prideful, this would be an obvious indicator that whoever said such a thing does not read his Bible.

But in reality, this is what is being said by self-esteem advocates. Self-esteem masquerades as an essential quality while hiding behind the fact that the word is not brought up in the Scriptures. Unlike pride, which is clearly a sin in the Bible, the word self-esteem is not found. As a result, the promotion of self-esteem is running rampant in the church like many other psychological approaches to life and wellness.

For instance, if someone were to admit that he gets angry a lot, the church at large would look at that person and see his sin. But if that same person were to say that he gets frustrated or annoyed quite often, many would notice that this person is avoiding biblical language. He is simply using synonyms for anger that are not found within the Bible.

Self-esteem is like that. It is a modern word with a modern approach that does not recognize sin, the depravity of man, the need for grace, and the need for humility. This is not to say that the Christian should not be encouraging others. But rather, what is at stake is the need to empty self, not pump oneself up with more of self.

The only way to be filled with the Spirit is to be emptied of self. Either a man will be full of self or full of the Spirit. Either a man will be full of Christ or full of self. He must make his choice. If he wants to hold dear all the “talents,” “qualities,” “achievements,” and so on and so forth, he can do that. But in the end, he will not have Christ residing within.

Paul was an absolutely gifted man. He was extremely educated; he had been through more than what many people would go through in ten lifetimes. He had seen things and heard things from God that nobody else could imagine. But in 1 Corinthians 4: 6-7, Paul warned the people of what can come about if one focuses too much on externals and does not see God in the midst of it all. Scripture says, “For who maketh thee to differ from another? And what hast thou that thou did not receive? now if thou didst receive it, why dost thou glory, as if thou hadst not received it?” (2 Cor. 4:7). Paul started this verse by telling the people that it was God Who made them different from one another. He went on to say that the gifts that they all have were even given to them by God. This should not promote self-esteem; it should promote God-esteem. God is the One to be esteemed, not man. But when a man-centered approach to life is the prevailing thought of the culture, what can one expect?

Paul brings the Christian back to reality in Romans 3:9-18.

The need to be rid of self

Paul tells his readers this: “As it is written, There is none righteous, no, not one: There is none that understandeth , there is none that seeketh after God. They are all gone out of the way, they are together become unprofitable; there is none that doeth good, no, not one” (Rom. 3:10-12). In this verse, it should be painfully obvious that a person does not need to “feel” better about himself, but rather, he needs to see himself for what he truly is before God.

It is not wrong to tell a child, “Good job!”, and encourage him in the work that he is doing. It is not wrong to tell someone, “Well done!”, when he performs a task. This is not what is at stake. Nor does someone need to walk around with a sign yelling, “Repent!”, because he just read Romans chapter 3.

The underlying thought behind the self-esteem movement is that if people would simply feel better and think more highly of themselves, then they will achieve more in life, or they will, in turn, be better people. But the Bible teaches something entirely different. People do not need to “feel” better about themselves. Rather, they need to come to the end of themselves. This is where people can begin to fear adopting such an approach to life as the search for self-esteem. The fear is that if someone believed things such as, “You are not inherently good,” “You have nothing to boast about,” or “You are no better than the next man,” this would, in turn, cripple the individual and lead to his destruction. But in reality, it is when someone recognizes that he needs something (or maybe better stated, Someone) outside of himself that he then avoids destruction and learns how to truly walk with Christ.

Paul made it clear that there are none who are righteous, there are none who seek for God, and there are none who do good. This is not a cause for self-esteem. Self-esteem will not get a man out of the mess he finds himself in. Instead, he needs to be free from self and plead with God like Paul did. Paul said, “O wretched man that I am! who shall deliver me from the body of this death? I thank God through Jesus Christ our Lord…” (Rom. 7:24). If there was ever a Scripture that was so opposed to self-esteem, it may very well be this one. Paul saw his wretched state, but thanks be to God that Jesus Christ would deliver him from his body of flesh.

Application

It is important to notice what is at stake in all of this. It is not a beating up of self into a state of depression. It is doing what Paul did. He recognized that there was nothing good within himself. He also recognized that any good that was accomplished in his life would not originate with him but would be done through him. Yet Paul was not a depressed man. He was full of joy and rejoiced in the work of Christ. Do not get stuck on self. Get stuck on Christ. That is the point. In this, you will find life and life abundantly.

Final prayer

Father, I pray that You would help me have a Christ-centered focus in my life. Help me not to focus on myself, and rid me of my pride. Fix my eyes on Jesus this day. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

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